Posts Tagged ‘psychology’
Thursday, June 24th, 2010
If you have kids who are bad, obnoxious, or abusive to others the last thing that you would want is to be blamed for their bad behavior. When it comes to the art and skill of disciplining your children, parents should always be on constant alert because they are usually the ones who get blamed for their kids’ faults or shortcomings. Bad children love to blame, manipulate and condition their parents into thinking that everything is their fault. Parents are always the easiest victims around.
Our children are very perceptive and they are able to think for themselves at a very young age. It would not be a surprise if they get the idea of conditioning you into thinking that everything is your fault. It’s in their nature to blame others because of their inability to properly solve problems on their own. As a parent you shouldn’t let your kids get into your head if they blame you. But even if you don’t, there are still other parenting failures you should cautiously avoid doing like setting up the Why Trap.
Parents should be aware about what the Why Trap, which is a classical parenting error, is all about. The mechanisms of setting up the Why Trap starts out when the parents asks their child “why” the fault was done or “why” did the mistake happen. This is a disciplining error because unconsciously the parent is sending the message “who are you going to blame for this?” to the child. You might not be aware of it and neither does the child but unconsciously that is what’s happening to the point-to-point communication you established.
What happens next is that your child will then come out and start making excuses or start blaming others because of the inadequate feeling. In the long run the kid will start making this a routine. All the kid needs to do is to find someone to blame for because it’ll be easier. And guess who the best targets to blame are? Yes, you got that right – the parents. That’s what manipulative children want you to think.
Children can also start blaming others if they want to like their siblings, other elders, their peers. As long as they don’t face the consequences they would do just about anything to get off the hook. If you don’t want to start questioning your disciplining skills or your parenting abilities then you should learn to never fall for the boy-who-cried-wolf routines your children might play on you. Because making you question yourself is what they would want to accomplish.
It’s normal for us to think that we are being helpful and that we mean the best for our kids but that doesn’t mean that we should stop being on the lookout for possible disciplining errors like setting up The Why Trap.
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Tags: behavioral development, child behavior, family, home, home and business security alarms, parenting, parenting teens, parenting tips, parenting toddlers, psychology
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Thursday, June 24th, 2010
No matter how much good or joy you see parenting can bring, it can never be helped that sometimes there are instances where you would feel like giving up. When you have kids that are bad, obnoxious, or abusive of others, as a parent you might go on a verge of a nervous breakdown.
That is why the Total Transformation Program is here to help you, the parent, cope and manage the daily responsibilities of parenting. The Total Transformation Program helps you do away with the difficulties of raising and disciplining a child and dealing with the problems during the child’s personality development stage.
The Total Transformation Program is a training course for parents created by behavioral therapist Dr. James Lehman. The program aims to expose parents on how our children actually think and feel when they encounter problems and how they tend to react to these conditions. By letting the parent explore and understand their child’s behavior, they become more aware on how to deal with their bad, obnoxious, or abusive children.
The Total Transformation Program for parents is taught at the level of behavioral therapy so parents are assured that the techniques and methods being taught to them are safe and tested. For the parents to ensure themselves, the Total Transformation Program assists them on how to effectively and appropriately solve their child’s behavioral problems.
The Total Transformation Program is also perfect for kids. Dr. James Lehman also advices that kids should take a look into the program because they would find a great deal of rich resource-filled information regarding themselves and their behavior and how they should manage their problems appropriately with consent from their parents.
The Total Transformation Program also offers a Parental Support Line at 1-800-782-1182 where parents can get help on the clock. The Parental Support Line is where parents can call for help on how to apply the methods and techniques in the Total Transformation Program specific to their kid’s situation. Help is given on the spot from trained professionals handpicked by Dr. James Lehman himself in order to assure you of quality child support services.
Parenting was never an easy task for anybody. But it is good to know that there are programs like the Total Transformation Program for parents developed by Dr. James Lehman to help us make our job less difficult and stressful.
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Tags: behavioral development, child behavior, family, home, home and business security alarms, parenting, parenting teens, parenting tips, parenting toddlers, psychology
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Thursday, June 17th, 2010
One of the best things a parent can do for their child is help to nurture and build their self-esteem. Feelings of value and self-worth are critical to a child, as these feelings will almost always follow a child into adulthood.
Children with good self-esteem won’t be afraid to try new things, because they have a deep belief that they are capable and that their thoughts and actions are worthwhile. If you ask a successful person about their childhood, many times they will say that their parents always believed in them and thought they could do anything.
One of the best ways of building self-esteem is to give your child unconditional love. It’s important to let them know that you love them because of who they are, regardless of what they do, think or say.
This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t correct your child though. It is important for any child growing up to know the difference between right and wrong. That being said, you need to do this in a correcting way, and not in a critical way. An excellent example would be pointing out what would be the nice and the proper thing to do, instead of focusing on the negative thing they are doing.
Children also need to know that you are paying attention to them. When consistently ignored, a child will start to feel like they aren’t important.
If your kid asks you a question, you have to listen 100%. You should also never laugh at any of their ideas or queries, no matter what, and you should always discuss their emotions with them when they decide they want to talk about them.
It’s all about positive reinforcement and how you can get your child to believe that he is great for certain reasons and that other people will believe that if he does himself. This is usually the trick for anyone with low self-esteem. The more confidence you have in yourself, the more that will be displayed to others and the more it will be evident to them in the long run.
You should always be interested in what your child is doing. Every comment you make should be genuine, just find the things you are happy about. You need to be exact in your praise, not just general and vague.
This writer has been providing advice pertaining to self-confidence for the previous five years. Additionally, the writer likes contributing information about separate things, such as shower panels along with shower door seals.
Tags: advice, children, communication, family, home, home and business security alarms, inspirational, motivational, parenting, psychology, self improvement, society, teens
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Friday, May 21st, 2010
You will always find two characters in any child-related household problem: the victim and the person being put to blame. These situations somehow present an irony all the time. The real culprit is usually the one who claims to be the victim. While the person who is getting blamed for the problem is usually the victim in the scenario.
Children are fond of playing the role of the innocent victim when they get into trouble. This is one bad characteristic or practice that children with obnoxious and abusive behavior show in order to justify their actions. Thus, some child therapists and parenting coaches dub this situation or execution as The Victim Stance.
This dangerous child practice or characteristic – the victim stance – is definitely not a good thing. It can become an opportunity for your child to induce and promote his/her bad, obnoxious and abusive behavior. What is disturbing about this predicament is that children tend to always see themselves as the victim in any situation. And as victims, they will always be ready to support their claim by providing sad stories.
The person getting the blame is part of these so-called sad stories and children will always find somebody else to put the blame on. Kids with obnoxious an abusive behavior find it easier to put the blame on others because of their lack of ability to take responsibility for their actions and also because of their faulty reasoning skills.
Avoiding responsibilities is what drives these kids to put the blame on others and continue the whole victim stance. Children learn that if they will stick to their story for a good enough time they eventually won’t be held accountable for the problem. You, as a parent, should break this habit. You need to tell your child that he/she is responsible and that he/she is not a victim.
In dealing with children who show bad, obnoxious and abusive behavior parents need to know that there are always two types of stories that run in the victim stance: the sad story and the behavior story. The sad story is the part that tries to explain or puts forward ideas about what happened to the child. On the other hand, the behavior story explains what this child did to other people or what the child did to property. Parents need to focus on the behavior story and not on the sad story.
A victim will think that he/she reserves the right to victimize others because of what happened to him/her. Children with obnoxious and abusive behaviors who start acting like they were any real victim would use this and abuse it. Parents, this mentality is not tolerable and should be suppressed immediately because allowing it to happen give these children the chance to manipulate the situation to their advantage. Telling sad stories while leaving or omitting the behavior stories should keep parents alerted. Focusing on the sad stories along will give these children the right to hurt other people.
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Tags: behavioral, child behavior, development, family, home, home and business security alarms, parenting, psychology, teens, tips, toddlers
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Friday, April 23rd, 2010
Every mother to be wants a nest built with love, but most, especially new mothers, don’t have a clue when it comes to decorating a baby nursery. Chances are that you are going to have some questions like, “What colors should my nursery be?”, “What is the best theme for baby?”, and “What about safety for baby?”. This is to be expected and is usually a good start. In this article my aim is to give some answers to these questions so you can build a baby nursery that will be perfect for your little bundle of joy. When decorating baby’s nest I find the best place to begin our journey is to first decide on the colors, which lead to our theme, and are followed up with baby safety.
The foundation of your baby nursery is built first with the selection of your colors. There has been a ton of research done about what colors a baby needs to be surrounded with for the most benefit. Put yourself in baby’s shoes for a moment and think about all the new things that you will be introduced to and all the different colors that come along with it. Soothing and calming colors are better than bold and exciting. We don’t want to overload baby and give a bad first impression. This isn’t to say that bold and exciting cannot be used to bring a little flair to the room. In fact, using a bold color is fine to use on things like trim or an accent wall. Just don’t over do it.
If you have ever got stimulation from a color then you know for yourself that color will stimulate your baby. The key is to use colors that stimulate baby in positive ways. This may seem a little overboard, but you should always keep baby’s development on your mind when designing the room baby will be using to sleep and play in. Here are to example colors and what impact they may or may not have on your baby.
Black may not be a color you want to include in your nursery decor. It symbolizes authority and power and is a color that implies submission. This in my opinion is an adult color and should not be forced upon baby. Bottom line, I would stay away from black.
The most popular color used in decorating is green and for good reason once you know what green can do for both you and baby. Green is the color that represents old mother nature. It is considered a calming color that will help little baby to relax when introduced to this brand new adventure called life. Consider using green as a main color in your nursery decor theme.
There are many reasons why you want to use a theme in your nursery decor, but the main reason is for baby’s first learning experience in the world. When deciding on a theme you should always have baby’s best interest in mind and not your own. When shopping around for themes you may think some things are a bit corny or over the wall silly, but the simplicity of the themes is want you want to look for, not what you personally like or dislike. This allows baby to focus on just a few objects that are simple in nature and is a great unobtrusive start in allowing baby’s brain to develop. Animals, butterflies, frogs, and nature are good places to start and are great themes to expand upon later. You could even go with simple shapes and patterns and build into nature at a later time.
So now lets get started and build this little nest from the ground up, but wait! We forgot the most important thing to plan before we jump in. There are so many horror stories of mishaps that happen in the nursery due to not baby proofing. Now is the perfect time to start doing things like buying a crib with safety features, removing small items that came with your theme like buttons that could be choked on, and finally covering all places where little fingers could come in contact with electricity. Also consider a baby monitor so you can hear baby’s cries or lack there of. Better safe today then sorry tomorrow.
Hopefully now I have given you a great and powerful head start on planning and designing your nest for baby to enjoy. Remember to start off with soft, calming colors that will not over stimulate baby. Simple themes are the way to go so baby doesn’t feel overburdened in this new journey called life. And finally, keep baby proofing always on the back of your mind when decorating your baby’s nursery.
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Tags: baby, children, decor, design, Fashion, home, home and business security alarms, home improvement, interior design, nursery, psychology, woman
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Thursday, April 15th, 2010
There is no shortage on books filled with so-called expert advice on how to discipline your kids. But, for how do you know which methods are best for your kids? Well, with all due respect to these experts, I would argue that the person who knows your children best is you.
I believe that all children are different and may require different methods of discipline. The advice of experts is always useful, but must be combined with your own first-hand knowledge of your child.
Have you ever wondered why time outs worked for one of your children but not for the other? Perhaps it would be better not to force one method of discipline on a child simply because it worked on their sibling.
A close friend of mine was struggling with a child who bites. She tried method after method, and just ended up with a confused and frustrated biter. Taking the time to understand her child and what would work best for him would have been more effective.
It’s important to discipline children. Children must learn that there are rules, and that rules must be followed. This will help them throughout life.
Remember that discipline should never actually harm a child. A child who is properly disciplined will learn life lessons. I child who is harmed through discipline will not.
Children will learn best from discipline if it correlates to the act committed. For example, drawing on a wall should result in the child cleaning the wall. Don’t entirely let the little ones off the hook – this can be tempting as it will take a lot of patience to wait for them to clean the wall and you will most likely need to help them at some point. But the lesson will still be a good one.
Your child will respond best to discipline if you take the time to identify what works best for him or her.
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Tags: advice, discipline, education, family, growth, guidance, home, home and business security alarms, kids, motivational, parenting, psychology, relationships, society, values
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Thursday, February 4th, 2010
One of the most difficult things in life is a breakup. The time when a relationship ends is so hard. It could have been a prolonged event. Where there was fighting for quite some time. Or it could be abrupt with no warning. That is the times when it is really hard to take.
They are both hard circumstances. But when it does happen it leaves a person wanting to know how to get your ex back. That only happens if there is someone who does want the relationship fixed. If that was what happened, it really makes the breakup that much more difficult.
So when a guy is looking for how to get your ex girlfriend back where can they turn. Where if you go searching on the internet you will find a lot of advice. But who can you trust. How do you know what will work? Unfortunately you can’t really know. Sure you might be able to see some testimonials but after that, there isn’t much to go by.
When you go through a situation of a breakup you can only try and see if it might work. So you will see a lot of books out there. Books that talk about how to get your ex boyfriend back, or your ex girlfriend back. The thing that works well about books is that you can find some good reviews.
Reviews will be helpful because they can tell you a lot. You can start to get a feel on how it works. You are able to find out if it is something that can work for you. But when you come down to it, it will be something you have to see for yourself.
So in the end trying to get relationship advice is hard. There are quite a few places you can get it. With going the route of trying an advice book it allows you to see if it can work first. If it turns out to help, great. If it doesn’t then you can go to a counselor. That way you can try to see if it can work rather than spending a lot of money with a counselor.
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Tags: dating, divorce, family, health, help, home, home and business security alarms, marriage, psychology, relationships, self-help, society
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Saturday, January 23rd, 2010
Are you thinking of the good times with your ex-girlfriend? Is there an empty place in your heart that still calls out her name each time you go by her place? Then, it may be signs that you’re thinking about on how to get your girlfriend back. Here are four killer systems you must implement.
Thou shall not chase
First, don’t chase after her. That means the end of late night calls, e-mails of text messages. Don’t show up usually at her fave place. Remember that when you’re chasing, you are positioning yourself as a annoying salesmen. Nobody, including your ex-girlfriend loves to be stressed. If she is returning to you, it’s got to be on her own free will.
Pump yourself up
Rather than chasing, work on yourself. Make a list of your strengths that you ex-girlfriend attracted to when you first met and reinforce that personality. That can mean taking further classes or new interests. Reconnect with old chums and make fresh ones. Also, work on your best weaknesses. If you ex-girlfriend always bitch about your weight, join a gym to burn off that extra fat.
Practice gratitude
It is also vital to appreciate all the good stuff that occur in your life. Start every morning by counting the important things you continue to have with you. You can be grateful for the eyes you still need to see, the folks that still care for your well being and friends that are there for you. Hold your hand in your heart and say it out loud. By this point you should notice that there remain a lot of worthwhile things in your life. When your ex-girlfriend sees you again, she’s going to meet a positive person instead of an embittered one.
Recollect their birthday
You should not fail to remember their birthday. When you go to your ex birthday, it’ll be a large excuse to get back in touch. All persons like to be thought of, recognized, celebrated and still given a gift on their birthday. This is a chance for you to handle her like a princess on that day.
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Tags: dating, divorce, family, Fashion, home, home and business security alarms, kids_and_teens, love, men, psychology, relationships, Social Issues, society, weddings, women
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Wednesday, January 20th, 2010
Marriage counseling is a service that a lot of people seem to have a hard time seeking out. A lot of times when marriages go bad the couple doesn’t want to see a counselor. That is bad simply because counseling can certainly help in so many ways. So in this article we are going to examine a couple of good qualities that you want to find in a marriage counselor.
We are really looking at the good qualities of a marriage counselor simply because that is basically what will encourage people to seek for help. Probably the first quality you may want to really find in a marriage counselor is experience. When you are going to pour out all your intimate problems to someone you want experience. In my marriage therapist practice, that is certainly something that people always seem to want to know about me.
The next thing that is a good quality in a marriage counselor is compassion. You need someone, in other words, whom you can relate with and who really cares about your bad situation. If you are having problems in your marriage the last thing you want is someone that seems as if they don’t care. The best way to find this out is to eventually talk with a marriage counselor and then see if they really have it. Most of the people who seek out my family therapist services always go with me only when they feel I really care.
The next good thing that you probably want in a good marriage counselor is maybe the same life philosophy. There are certainly many styles to therapy and counseling and that is what I really mean by that. The styles therapists use depends on their outlook on life.
So you want to make sure your philosophy on life is in line with what your therapist will be counseling you in. That is the very reason why in my marriage counseling practice, I am always up front in my style of therapy.
There are many other qualities and traits of a good therapist. But if you certainly go with these three qualities then definitely you can’t go wrong in finding one that can help you.
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Tags: advice, couples counseling, couples therapy, family counselor, family therapist, home, home and business security alarms, marriage, marriage counseling, marriage counselor, psychology, relationships
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